Back to the future

An ancient jukebox that plays your audio CDs, supports USB flash disks and patronises SD memory cards. An erstwhile cassette tape that serves as a USB hub. An obsolete-looking transistor radio that mutates into hand-cranked phone charger. An old fashioned, bulbous Bakelite handset that talks to your cell phone over Bluetooth... Poofish, pointless and purposeless? Not at all…

The modern world is going gaga over these supremely stylish and ultra-cool retro chic gizmos. And asking people why they want to buy retro gadgetry is almost akin to questioning the desire to own antique cars or creaky period furniture or musty old manuscripts and books. Plus, in the case of technology, there is also that additional near-shock-cum-fun condiment — the element of interjecting indelible iconography and classic imagery with state-of-the-art technology.

Just because retro is the exact opposite of contemporary, it’s surprising, fascinating and amusing to espy what appears to be a fossilised floppy disc, outfitted as a DVD case. Or an overweight ghetto blaster tape recorder relic serving as a media player for a slick iPod Touch. Whether it’s a dash from the ’60s, a smattering from the ’70s, a whiff of the analogue ’80s, or nuances of the ’90s, the premise is to blend it with contemporary, leading edge digital technology.

Here’s our pick of some precious primevals turned present-day paraphernalia.

Thinkgeek Bluetooth Retro Handsethttp://is.gd/dE2DT
Price: $30 (approximately Rs 1,411)

Now does that ring a bell or what? Yes, it’s exactly what it looks like — a hunky-chunky, Bakelite, dumbbell-class species of handsets of the telephonic genre. You can pair up the extremely evocative museum piece of shiny plastic to your mobile via Bluetooth. And go jabberwocky within seconds much to the envy of your buddies. The Retro Handset has a range of about 20ft to 30ft and its battery charges via USB. And Bluetooth means you can use it over the PC for Skype, GTalk and all such VoIP (Voice over Internet Protocol) yackety yack.

The appearance of the amazingly corny retro-tastic calling gadget replicates the 1949 Western Electric 500 series model that became the standard for America’s rotary phones. Of course, this one offers much better audio quality than the original. If you want one of these daft devices that’s replete with the classic curly-wurly cables from the days of yore, you can get one of those too for your cell phone — sans Bluetooth naturally. Wondering what’s next? A rotary dialer perhaps…

Olympus PEN E-PL1
www.olympus.com
Price: Rs 44,995
Stand-out-of-the-herd, overtly outré, Old World outward appearance. State-of-the-art, path-breaking technology inside. Meet the 12.3-megapixel PEN camera: Based on the revolutionary, still emerging ‘Micro Four Thirds’ system — a new grounds-up digital photography standard — this 296gm camera is no bigger than a standard point and shoot, but can almost play with the Big Boys, that is, the D-SLRs. It allows you to change lens. It’s fast both to kick-start and shoot and it produces HD video. There are lots of pre-sets to make image capture easier for casual shutterbugs. Also available are in-camera editing capabilities, image stabilisation, full manual controls, and a plethora of exposure, picture modes, etc. Chief, if greenbacks don’t matter and awesome, stand-out-of-the-herd retro styling makes you go weak in the knees, this is it. Rest assured that since you’re not paying peanuts, you won’t get a monkey — at least in this case.

Wilkerson Flat Panel TV
www.wilkersonfurniture.com
Price: On request
Reminds you of those woodsy, resplendent, roomy radiogrammes of the yesteryears, doesn’t it? Well, this blast from the past comprises an overly outdated console within which is ensconced a very contemporary 42-in high-definition plasma TV panel. The ’50s period relic replica is hewn from solid walnut hardwood and can be procured in black or cherry veneers. The precinct below the screen — that is designated to conceal the centre speaker of your home theatre’s sound system — is fabricated out of original Fender screen material.

If the aforementioned custom-finished contraption with its plasma TV inset is not for you and real retro-techno chic is what you are looking for, perhaps you can plonk your paisa on the LG Classic Series 1 TV. Replete with twin rabbit-ear antennae, tactile dial knobs, a CRT (cathode ray tube screen) screen, and four spindly legs, the only modern convenience the $216 idiot box permits is a wireless remote!

Cassette Tape USB Hub
www.iwantoneofthose.com/usb-tape-hub/index.html
Price: $24 (approximately Rs 1,130)

Remember those flat, inanimate creatures (that often oozed spools of a thin, unwieldy silken plastic substance) called cassette tapes? Well, they’re back — though in a different avatar. Not to entrance you in melodious rapture with Burman Da or Rafi but to serve as a USB port hub! The 97 x 61-cm USB 2.0 hub offers four ports to enhance your ability to add on more gizmos and gear to your PC or laptop. Since the device’s design places all four of the ports right in front and adjacent to one another, stuffing stocky, stout USB devices may be a struggle. Yet, so remarkably realistic and immaculate is this conception that the contraption is accompanied by a warning note that reads: “This is not a real cassette tape and attempts to play it in a cassette player could cause serious damage to your stereo and the hub.”

USB CD Rock Maxi Encode Jukebox Steepletone
http://is.gd/dEdGP
Price: £299.00 (approximately Rs 21,820)
Hello, what’s that? Just an old world radio jukebox that offers MP3 audio playback as well as CD MP3 encoding and recording. And it’s compatible with USB drives or SD cards. Oh yes, it’s got a MW and FM radio built in as well. The jukebox is big but its pop-out CD tray can take only one platter at a time. And no, you don’t have to scramble across to it each time you want to change tracks or pump up the volume; it comes with a handheld remote control to tweak and tune setting sitting afar. Available in cherry and honey wood veneer finishes, this pub house exhumation has twin 5-watt speakers built-in and is powered by electricity.

Joytron Singibigi Joystick
http://is.gd/dEfxH
Price: $40 (approximately Rs 1,880)

Granted that Microsoft Kinect hands-free, physical controller-free, motion-sensing gaming sensor module is the hottest gotta-have in gamedom. But the Joytron Singibigi Joystick is as quaint as it gets if you’re an arcade gaming aficionado. This throwback from ancient Japanese game console controllers looks like a rounded block-’-wood and features about a dozen configurable buttons. If you’re ruminating about its compatibility, let it be known that you can hook-up the Singibigi to a PS2, PS3 or PC via USB connectivity. It is compatible with all PC-based games, including online ones even if application doesn’t support joysticks, claim the manufacturers. But hey, don’t expect such a fossil to go wireless, dude!

Eton FR250 Emergency Crank Radio
www.etoncorp.com
Price: $37 (approximately Rs 1,740)
Hello, what’s that? Looks like an old transistor radio (if you ignore the funny handle, that is) from the ’80s, doesn’t it? However, you’ll be surprised to know that this little box is an emergency hand-crank power generator. Yes, it’s works as radio too. A radio with seven shortwave bands, plus AM and FM bands. In addition, it has cellphone charger output jack (for several handset models) and believe-it-or-not, a double-white LED flashlight, plus flashing red LED and a built-in siren for emergencies. If you’re appalled by the thought of hand-cranking the radio etc. to get them working, perish the thought. It comes with three power options other than the hand-crank generator: You can plop in AA batteries, or use an NiMH battery pack, or plug an AC adapter into a wall socket! Appearances, as some wise old owl once said, can be deceiving…

Crosley USB Tech Turntable
http://is.gd/dEl5t
Price: $130 (approximately Rs 6,100)

Most people today don’t even know what a turntable is, forget ever having laid their orbs on one! The Crosley USB Tech Turntable appears to be a device from the days of old when vinyl records were bold and CDs/DVDs, MP3s etc. were not invented. This 3-speed (33, 45 and 78 RPM), wood-encased, mirror face-plated, and knobby dialled thingamijig is perfect for those who still nostalgically preserve their old record collection. Not just that, you can plug in a USB drive or SD card in to the Turntable and it will let you record and transfer the audio from the analog vinyl to the digital medium. Auto-magically. The Crosley turntable also features a PAR (portable audio ready) hookup for MP3 players and an analog AM/FM radio.

Retro USB Fan
www.usbgeek.com
Price: $15-$30 (approximately Rs 700 to Rs 1,411)
There is no dearth of these around frankly. You’ll find them littering the web in every possible shape, size, speed and colour combination. You can pick up a petite pankha that’ll barely ruffle you mane or a larger desktop one that’ll blow a brisk breeze at you. There are oscillating versions, multi-speed mambos, two-fin ones and quad blade ones. Some that even ensconce battery packs that you can charge via the AC mains and use when there’s a power cut. All exceeding retro in visage, and exceedingly evocative of an era gone by in their styling. Best of all, they’ll keep you from sweating like a pig!

Samsung P300 Mobile
www.samsung.com
Price: $100 (approximately Rs 4,700)

It’s not bigger than a credit card. It looks like a Casio pocket calculator from a bygone era. It functions like any modern cellphone. That’s the Samsung P300, a phone that measures less than 9mm in thickness and flaunts body girth vital statistics of 54mm x 87mm x 89mm. The squat, rectangular, slim, dimensions and calculator-like demeanour of its buttons make it look like something from the Dino era of technology. Surprisingly, however, the diminutive mobile phone carries a measly 1.3 megapixel camera, can tap into conversations with a video recorder, has enough room to accommodate a slot for memory card. On the software and applications front, it serves up an office document reader, a built-in electronic dictionary and has mobile printing prowess that allows you to print directly to printer. Okay, all those features may seem a tad lame when confronted with what today’s smartphones are capable of, but we have to give full marks to the absolutely unique retro-meets-techno-chic styling here.


The Personal Telegraph